This post has seriously been in the making for a long time, as I have not really fully come to an understanding of how these symptoms have developed and why they come up in certain situations.
I experience Depersonalization on a day-to-day basis as there are definitely periods of the day where it seems like I run on “auto-pilot” and I’m watching myself operate as if I’m a third person. Of course, I do have control of my actions, but it doesn’t feel real in any way. As I have continued on my journey of becoming stronger in the face of mental health issues, I have started to have a hard time recalling and remembering details. I’ve been told by people close to me that I tend to tell the same story often, because I’ve forgotten that I’ve told them. Much of my life feels like I’m living it in a fog or a dream like way. Just typing out this entry has taken me days of pulling myself back out of a depersonalized state, and focus on the task at hand.
How does this come around? This may be a reaction, for me, when things change in my environment. Believe it or not, I don’t deal well with changes in any way. I like to think I’m superwoman and I can handle it, but I’m not. I have issues with change, saying good-bye-meeting new people. And all of that has happened in the last week, month, and year. I’m more disconnected than ever. I said good-bye to my significant other as he returned to the States after an over a month long visit. I said good-bye to a friend who will be returning to the States, and I’m saying good-bye to the rigor of my life as I know it, because it’s going to get so much worse this next term.
Even as I look at the photo of me at Gyeongbokgung, it doesn’t feel like it could have been real.
Turbulent Mind 
I can understand why you could feel like that. Anxiety can get so bad with so many things to worry about that the brain just decides to go to Hotel California (you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave). Just hang in there!
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Change is hard and causes a lot of anxiety, which is the root of DPDR.
Hope you’re feeling better, good luck, never give up.
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Thank you for sharing this post. All I can tell you is my depersonalization came from a “tipping point” of my high functioning depression and anxiety in my life. It kinda just “happened”, and it took a lot of work and counselling to get to the partial (nearly full) remission I am at now, over 5 years later.
If you can find the triggers and / or mechanisms, that’s very important. One huge suggestion I have is to stay present. Saying good-bye is hard, but let the other person know how you feel. Don’t hold that inside. When you feel something, connect with that emotion, and notice how it feels physically inside you. That helps me become less depersonalized, at least, kind of like a light switch going on and off.
If you need someone to talk to, let me know, and I’ll try to help. I hope you are starting to feel better.
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