My name is Yvonne, currently 29, and living with my two fur children in South Korea. Originally from Minneapolis, I’ve made the leap to live abroad for the third time. I hope to tell my story about my experiences with living with mental illness, and to also help me continue to practice shifting my focus away from fighting the disorders like demons, and learning to live in harmony with them.
I’m hoping that this story won’t be a new one. I’m hoping that while reading this blog, you will find similarities in your own story, because one of the toughest things about struggling with mental illness is the feeling that you are utterly alone, and that no one could possibly understand.
I have realized that, through years of attempting to blog about my life, and focusing on certain aspects of it has never been successful. Years ago, I decided I’d try to start a blog on my life as a teacher in South Korea. Although I traveled, and saw so many things, something kept me from posting. There was an aching feeling that although I was doing all these things, I wasn’t being genuine to myself. Am I really as overjoyed and excited as I am on my social media posts? Am I really having as peaceful of a time “learning about myself” as I’m trying to portray in this blog? And the answer was always, “No.” Eventually the charm wore off, and I kept to myself again. Every time I started a blog, it all felt artificial.
My goal is not to lament about how crappy life is. Nor is it to really focus on how being diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder hinder my life. My goal is to try to share my journey to gaining control and independence from the detrimental effects of these disorders. I want to show how physically, as well as mentally, taxing these disorders can be, and to spread understanding towards those that are struggling, alone, and scared.
Turbulent Mind 
Hi Yvonne! As someone who isn’t a stranger to mental health struggles for years now, I am thankful and hopeful for this blog. I am not only familiar with mental illness, I feel like we became frienemies with time. At times we find comfort in each other, but always in a toxic, self-destructive way, because healthy coping mechanisms rarely crossed our ways to befriend instead. I hope we can find these healthy mechanisms together, I hope that instead of our stories being owned by illness, we manage to own the illness instead.
All the love
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Wow, that really summarizes the relationship I’ve had with my anxiety and depression for years now. It’s like we’ve become codependent in the most unhealthy way. But I’m so used to its presence that I don’t know what i’d do without it. I really do hope that we can both find coping mechanisms, and perhaps, I’d love it if you’d like to do a guest entry on here at some point ❤ Much love.
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I think you’ve stated what a lot of people who deal with mental health issues silently go through.
We try to act as if everything is normal, portraying on the outside that life is a breeze. But on the inside, it’s a tornado. And eventually, if we fake it long enough, we start to believe that everything is ok, and we start to also then deal with the cognitive dissonance (or as you put it, not feeling genuine) of that belief.
I hope to read more of your journey!
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